Boundaries, do we really understand them?

We are told so often to set boundaries, but do we actually understand what we're being asked to do. It was during a conversation with some young people that prompted me to write this, when they said their friend was in therapy and was told to set boundaries, and she just started cutting off people completely because she didn't understand the concept.

The most important thing to know about boundaries is, boundaries are about you, your self care, your health and your peace.

 It starts with you, and it's not always about other people.

 When you decide to prioritize you, or set a goal or make some positive change in your life, ask yourself, what or who is pulling you off track?"  

Healthy boundaries can support you and others, you are making space for what you want and others are learning that they are responsible for their path and can no longer outsource it to you.   It’s a win/win!!!!

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you're starting a journey to positive change and this will guide you to where you need to set boundaries. 

• What are my distractions? Is it scrolling or TV or drama? 

• Do I need to plan ahead or commit part of my day to my goal?

• Am I allowing others to dump their problems on me or is there an expectation that I am there for everyone? 

• Where am I saying Yes and draining my energy to please others? 
  

You decide where you need to set the boundary.  This may lead to uncomfortable conversations but understanding why and coming  from a choice is very empowering and you are more likely to enforce the boundary and stay on track for your positive outcome.  You decide where and with whom you want to spend your time and energy and this protects you from burnout.

Boundaries get a negative rap and people get more caught up how others will react rather than the peace and positivity it will bring to their lives.  However, understanding your why and choosing where these boundaries need to be set, opens the way for you to move forward in your way and change for the better any aspect of your life that needs your attention.  

If you feel it’s time for you to put healthy boundaries in place but are unsure of the the where and the how, contact me for support and guidance at www.geraldineryancoaching.com when you respect yourself enough to honour the healthy boundaries you have put in place, other people will naturally do the same, it starts with you.