People-Pleasing a negative pattern
Are you stuck in a people pleasing pattern?
People pleasers often find themselves doing things they don't want to do and putting the needs of others ahead of their own needs and desires. When they are asked to do something or to help out someone, they often feel under pressure are compelled to say yes.
Agreeing to help someone isn't a problem in general. However, the difference between people pleasing and a healthy agreement is that after the fact, the people please you will feel trapped our stuck doing something they really don't want to do.
So, if you are feeling this way what can you do about it?
1. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured in the moment:
Ask yourself this simple question – do I need to give them an answer right now? Probably not, so don’t’ feel pressured to answer in the moment. Remember it is easier to turn a No into a Yes than the other way around.
2. Don’t’ be afraid to question the request:
If you have been asked to help out or you get an invitation to something you don’t normally get, ask the, where, when and why questions, doing this gives you confidence in your decision-making process and sets a boundary that stops you from automatically saying yes.
3. Pause, and slow down:
So often, people pleasing is habitual and it happens before we even recognize what it is. This is where we can be really powerful to give yourself a second To slow down, to be present to what's been asked of you, and from here you can make a conscious decision on how you want to proceed. This also shows the other person that you are considering your options, and not just saying yes to please them.
If you find people pleasing and prioritizing others needs is taking your life in a direction that you don't want to go in, contact me at www.geraldineryancoaching.com to get your life going in the direction you choose.